It's 9:10 a.m. on May 18, 2015. I'm working from home, having my morning cup of coffee and working. Working. Well, maybe not really because I am writing this blog instead. I had started another blog a few years ago called the Great Vegan Transformation. That was in 2011 when I decided to make some radical changes in my lifestyle to conquer the MS. Except I never really went vegan per se, maybe more like vegan-ish with a couple of completely non-vegan days thrown in for fun. But I did change my lifestyle, a lot. At first I felt like it was a choice but now it's for real. The struggle is real.
I was diagnosed with MS in January of 2008. Beginning in November of 2007 I had dizzy spells that I thought were due to the air quality in my office building. Then I thought one of my competitors was trying to poison me. Yes, I really thought that, a story for another time...but then around Thanksgiving I realized that my eyes weren't working quite right. Like when I tried to quickly look in one direction or another my eyesight wasn't lining up. I hadn't been to the eye doctor in awhile so I brushed it off. Sometime in early December when my eyes continued acting crazy and the dizziness just wasn't going away, I finally called my eye doctor. Go. To. The. ER. was all I heard. Um, excuse me, what? It's not an eyesight problem, it is a neurological problem. Um, excuse me, what? Go. To. The. ER. So, begrudgingly, I did.
After CAT scans, MRI's, blood tests, eye tests, hearing tests and visual/neurological association tests my new doctor stamped the diagnosis: Multiple Sclerosis. To be honest, I wasn't surprised. I was relieved at first because it didn't seem that scary at the time and there was a label. It wasn't a death sentence, it wasn't something I didn't understand. I had Googled "double vision" plenty between doctor visits and it all pointed to MS: a potentially debilitating disease. Potentially was the word I clung on to. I am one of those: that won't happen to me. Sure I have a diagnosis and sure MS is a devastating disease that leads many people confined to a wheelchair. That won't happen to me. I am a long distance runner, I love high heels, I love my life. Just the way it is.
Except now life isn't just the way it is. There is no more running and no more high heels. Sniff, sniff. Life is 26 supplements spread throughout my day, a strict food regimen of plant-based options - no wheat - no peanuts - and wild fish for a boost of omega 3 fatty acids & protein, reliance of a walking stick to get around, and many other things I "could" complain about. But I won't. I will not let the MS, this "disease", take any more from me. I will fight like hell to keep myself out of a wheelchair. Like hell.
My life without running and high heels is actually wonderful. I have two little turkeys, um I mean children, Tori (5) and Will (2). They just like to race me because they know they always win. I have a wonderful husband (who never complains about my disability) and wonderful family & friends (who never complain about my disability). I walk very slow, which is to enjoy and soak in all the world has to offer. I eat mostly fruits & vegetables, which means I no longer have to watch my weight? I wear flats and sneakers, hey don't have worry any podiatry problems, right? I'm happy not adding another specialist to the list on speed dial. Happy is my choice. MS can't control happy.
Looking back prior to my diagnosis in early 2008 I realized that most of 2007 was littered with MS exacerbations. It began with cognitive dysfunction. My work at that time required a lot public speaking and networking. Whether I was engaging in simple conversation or giving a presentation that was well-rehearsed I would completely forget what I was saying, or even what my train of thought was. I brushed it off to being under pressure. That same year I participated in the Mrs. Connecticut pageant where during the swimsuit competition (ooh-la-la) I went to turn to walk off stage and my left leg momentarily felt like a cement block. I brushed it off to nerves. Later that summer we built a flagstone patio off of our deck and my legs were numb, particularly my left leg and I couldn't move my foot up or down. I brushed it off to working too hard in the heat. Then came the double vision that I brushed off to my competitor trying to poison me by messing with the air flow in my office. I know, I know. I brushed all of this off because eventually it all subsided and: that won't happen to me. I was 31. I was still invincible.
I still cling to the word "potentially". Potentially I will get stronger, potentially I will regain my mobility. I recently turned 39 and my goal this year is the same that it has been for the last several years: to stay on my feet. I know one thing for sure. I will win. I will WIN. Beat it MS!
I haven't yet figured out how to add the fun buttons to this blog that link to Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, Pinterest, etc. Find me on Facebook: Jodi Regensburger Johnson. We can be friends and you can join the fun on my closed Facebook group, Beat It MS! Or, Like my Facebook page Beat It MS!
